One solution is probably to add a url parameter and javascript or php code written by hand to ensure that the correct tab stays selected. I'm not that familiar with spry tabbed panels so I'm not sure the precise code.
Your friends over here at WebAssist! These Dreamweaver extensions will assist you in building unlimited, custom websites.
These out-of-the-box solutions provide you proven, tested applications that can be up and running now. Build a store, a gallery, or a web-based email solution.